Manipulation
Having a discussion the other day with a good friend we came across the word manipulate. This is a word which in the context of getting other people to do what we want – has a negative connotation attached. Don't get me wrong here – I don't want to loose the bad press that word has received – but I also don't want to avoid it.
If we intend to try to convince someone of doing something they normally won't do or intended to do – that is manipulation. What our intentions are – that is where malice can lie.
I manipulate my son into doing things every day. I hold up a toy and draw his attention away from the electrical plug he recently became aware of. Or I move toys he is reaching for further out of his way so he has to crawl towards it. I know – you say that's different – you are teaching him and keeping him safe. Yes, that is true. However, I am doing so through manipulation. More specifically through misdirection and baiting, but those are just methods.
We are manipulated all the time. Through advertising, the media in general, our employers and, yes, or family and friends. The thing we have to be cognizant about is the intention behind these behavioral changes. The danger is when we no longer see the manipulations (or in many cases, never see) or recognize their sources.
The fear that I have is that we start recognizing the negative connotations that get associated with words and we become afraid to use those words – instead of looking for the root of the evil and fixing the actual problem. I saw a lot of this throughout the mid to late 90's during the political correct phase. As soon as a word is recognized in an unfavorable way, we stop using it and move on to another, cloaked form or phrase of the word. This solves nothing. At best, it masks a deeper problem within our society and at worst it makes our language more convoluted and ultimately meaningless.
So, go ahead – continue to manipulate the people around you. Just take a good look into your soul and determine the reason behind it. Is it to benefit you? Or them? If you can't tell the difference – then don't do it.